Bakery sweatshop

With the girls home sick but not really acting it (and me looking after them), I thought I'd better find something to occupy us. What could be better than making some bread? Ella took the photos.

First, locate your bread recipe. Ours is now largely obscured by the detritus of the breadmaking process:



Underneath the stains is a now-coverless 1980s copy of the Edmonds cookbook.

Next, into the 1960s floral flour sifter goes flour:



salt:



and yeast:



Now, sift:



Cold milk:



Followed IMMEDIATELY by boiling water:



Stir it up until it looks like thin tiling grout:



Leave it for a couple of minutes while you go and hang out the sheets that have now had the chunder washed off them (you may have an alternative activity). It will now look more like porridge:



Tablespoon of oil:



Sift in flour, half a cup at a time.



Stir 'til ya can't stir no mo', then cover the bench in flour:



and tip the mess out onto it:



Start bashing (kneading) the lump (dough) around. It'll eat up the flour - keep adding more so it doesn't stick to your hands/the bench/walls/ceiling/floor:



Let Betty have a go:



After a while it'll be "smooth and elastic", like the book says:



Grease the bowl:



then plonk the dough in:



Turn the dough over, put a twee towel on top, then put it in the lovely lovely sun:



After some time, marvel at The Power Of Yeast:



Tip it out onto more flour:



Bash (transparent hands are not mandatory for this, although they do help you see what you're doing):



Cleave (divide in two):



Divide each half into three bits, and make them into sausages:



Shit! Quick, grate some cheese!:



Mash one end of three sausages together:



then start plaiting (you know how to do it). Throw cheese in the middle before each plait:



Have some idiot point at the partially-complete loaf:



Here's the plait finished. Looks a bit crap, but don't worry, there's a happy ending. Make another one the same:



Cover the loaves with another tea towel and place in front of the lovely lovely heater or on top of the lovely lovely dryer:



After a while, marvel yet again at the size increase:



put more cheese on top:



then put them in the oven. 220 horsepower for ten minutes, then 180 until they're done. Hold yours up to the screen and compare with this photo to see if they're ready:



Full body shot:



If you haven't done this before, give it a go. It's really easy. Go on.

If you've done it before, but not for a while, go on!

Let me know about your variations, or post in the comments.